This 14th of April on Ambedkar Jayanti, I decided to sit down with my anger. I’ve been simmering over a lot of things lately— from India’s blatant classism to communalism and casteism rearing their monstrous heads even during a pandemic.

We’ve been conditioned to believe rage is unhealthy. It indeed is; thoughtless and impulsive, often based on false beliefs that demonize groups of people and blame them for everything that’s wrong with one’s life. There is also the kind of anger that stems from the perceived violation of an unjust yet habitual sense of entitlement, which when combined with socio-political power, seeks to negate any challenge to the fragile, delusional constructs of supremacy and privilege. Such anger has been the cause of worst atrocities humans have been capable of in the past.

“Equality feels like oppression to the oppressor”

We are seeing such entitled anger dominate politics around the world today. This is also the reason we ought to be suspicious of anger used for political mobilization.

Read also – Reflections on 129th Babasaheb #AmbedkarJayanti

At its root, anger is an emotion that stems from our instinct for self-preservation. It surfaces when there is perceived violation of whatever one holds dear- body, mind, self-image, values, property, family, one’s sense of entitlement, etc. When this perception is grounded in reality, supported by facts, it can be a useful force that can motivate social change by rallying people to fight oppression and exploitation.

As a dalit woman living in society as envisioned by brahminical patriarchs, I’ve found anger to be indispensable and quite beneficial. Here people recognize themselves and others primarily through caste identities. That becomes the most basic definition of self. While this is a matter of pride for persons belonging to the Savarna castes, especially Brahmins, it is humiliating for us, the dalits who are by default recognized as “impure”, unworthy and therefore, untouchables.

“Human existence is primordially a matter of mutual recognition, and it is only through mutual recognition that we are self-aware and strive for the social meanings in our lives.’’- Robert C. Solomon

Growing aware of oneself and developing a sense of self in such a toxic ecosystem, is lethal to some, though merely excruciating to the luckier of us. It is almost impossible to not believe the world when it repeatedly treats you as sub-human. Attempts to equalize one-self are met with quick reminders of who one is supposed to be, in various ways ranging from crude aggression and violence to casual remarks.

The only way to resist internalizing their definitions of us and protecting the modicum of dignity that we have fought hard to claim, is by warding off everyday casteism with anger. It is what one needs to draw and enforce boundaries against casteist people every time they try to violate us.

But what kind of anger? Should I lash out impulsively at every casteist individual who claims superiority because they “belong to such families that doesn’t consume vegetables like onion and garlic”? Or patronizingly pontificates on how dalit assertion feels like reverse caste-ism against them?

One would be exhausted and also probably in jail for battery. Besides all that rage is indeed harmful to one’s own mental health.

I struggled with the dilemma of whether to strike back at casteist bigots or subserviently allow them to hurt me and then go cry in some corner,(I mostly did the latter) for long time before I discovered the works of Dr. B R Ambedkar. It completely changed my attitude towards anger.

Check also – Remembering Babasaheb Ambedkar On His Birth Anniversary

The world he waged a long and arduous intellectual war against, has barely changed at the socio-economic level today, even if it has changed to some degree at the political level.

He was just as angry as many dalits are in 2020. A smouldering anger seethes through his eloquent writing; fury tempered by rationality. Rational because it first inquires into the veracity of his ire, testing it, patiently applying his characteristic intellectual vigour to analyse the root cause of the sufferings of the lower caste communities throughout Indian history- Hinduism as propounded based on the supposed infallibility of the Vedas and the Manusmriti.

His rigorous critique of Hinduism is the antidote to the poisonous conditioning that is internalized casteism that pervades the collective consciousness of this great nation. It established a solid foundation of a counter belief system for generations of dalits to build a new self-image upon. His work is also relevant to women, queer folk and anybody else who are dehumanized and alienated by the brahminical Patriarchy and are seeking to rescue themselves from its psychological clutches.

Reading Ambedkar turned my fiery red rage into an icy blue indignation — more intense, but regulated by patience. For the intent is not to flicker out quickly but to burn slowly, through the time required to fulfil the long due overarching purpose — Annihilation of Caste.

His call to Educate, Agitate and Organize (in that order) essentially demands the transmutation of our collective fury into the political will necessary to effect sustainable institutional transformation.

Educate: Mainstream education in India prepares you to be a cog in the economy. It offers little more than that to the socially marginalized, for whom education has a deeper significance — as a practice of freedom.

“There’s no such thing as neutral education. Education either functions as an instrument to bring about conformity or freedom.” — Paulo Freire

Education as a practice of freedom means to apply, use and develop knowledge to transcend the boundaries of caste, gender identities, race, religion, creed, sexual orientation etc. to expand language to enable ourselves to process our experiences and articulate them.

Agitate: To permit ourselves to feel disturbed by ethical depravity rather than learn to be apathetic to inequality & injustice by justifying it in terms of abstract metaphysical phenomena such as — karma from previous birth.

Organize: To bring order and discipline to our agitation by strategizing to achieve the ultimate goals of equality and justice.

Today, amidst all the useless, inflammatory rage triggered by hate around the globe, I am grateful to Ambedkar for teaching me how to not let my anger burn me down, hurt anyone else or allow it be exploited by vested interests.

He has shown us that no individual or group is a enemy, as the problem of caste happens to be systemic. Therefore, it needs to be fought at that level — through Politics, Education, Policy, Art and Law.

In the year 2020, technology is our friend. The present generation of Ambedkarites have been clever with the use of internet culture and social media, to voice our politics via memes and wit. Also, thanks to their genius marketing, more people are rediscovering Ambedkar.

However, we may still not completely exorcise these social demons in our lifetime. People will continue to cling their petty, bigoted-selves to whatever quickly boosts their egos.

But we’ll continue to fight under the armour of Baba Saheb’s spirit that permeates our Constitution and pass on the baton.

Jai Bhim

Author – Mrudula

The author could be reached on Twitter at @Lawandemotions